Ian d’O’s (or Iain d'Eau's) Diary. A First Class Bear gets a Special First Class treat.

Sometimes it is good to have a guest blogger on one's page. Today I am handing over mine over to a new best friend. He's called Ian d'O, though he prefers the more exotic spelling of Iain d'Eau. He is pretty sanguine about the spelling, but I think I may have to acquiesce.

On our return flight from Singapore to London via Zurich with SWISS, I discovered we were to travel on the new Boeing 777-300 (ER) being introduced into the fleet to replace the older, smaller, and less fuel efficient A340-300. I had some miles to spare and when Ian found out he kept tugging at my sleeve. I relented and we got to travel First Class on the new plane.

Now as I am not really a clever blogger, I don't take the right photos on phones at the right time nor do I have the first idea of what I am doing. I tried to supplement Ian's text, but I let him down. He has been kind and forgiven me, but I am on warning that detention may happen at any time.

Here then is the travel blog of Ian d'O, also known as Iain d'Eau.

When you are a bear and you have found your human, the only human that was meant for you to look after, you soon find out if looks can be deceiving.

Timbo said he fell in love with me from among all the other bears at first sight. Ha! He does not know bears like he thinks he does. 

Well, after we went from Penang to Singapore and stayed there a few days, I met Timbo’s specialest friend. He has got a nice nick name. Timbo calls him Special K, because he is a very special person.

Special K has a lovely smile. I thought it was the cutest smile I have ever seen since I arrived in the shop at the lovely E&O. Believe me, I have seen lots of smiles in the shop. 

When it came time for us to go to cold, chilly, nippy, London I wanted to be tucked in Timbo’s bag to go to the airport.

I am excited, what does cold mean? What does chilly mean? Why does nippy mean? I think it is not going to be as lovely and as warm like Penang or Singapore, but I think it could be fun. I know I will like it, because I will be with Timbo, looking after him.

Apparently you have to check in to get on a plane. You cannot just walk up and get on one. First you have to give your luggage to somebody who sends it off to who knows where? 

While we were doing this, Timbo and the lady were talking about miles and redeeming them The lady gave Timbo a number and he said it was wrong and too much. Timbo was right. I am learning Timbo knows some special things and makes sure he knows about them. I think he can be a clever Timbo, for a human. He is not a bear, so he cannot be that clever.

Next, after you give away your bags with your belongings,  there are all kinds of people who have noisy machines in their hands that stamp a small book of Timbo’s. 

He said everybody has one these when they travel the world. They are called passports. I asked Timbo why I did not have one. Apparently, because I am a bear, I have special privileges which mean I do not need a passport book. Sometimes, I feel I would like to be a tiny bit less special and have those books. Timbo says they tell stories of places he has been to.

After that there are loads and loads of bright, shiny, shops, and they sell all kinds of things. Timbo went around and said there was not much and he then used magic spells like “exchange rate” and “Brexit” and “those blithering idiots” to make the desire to spend money go away. They worked very well. Timbo must be a powerful wizard to make himself not spend money, because everybody in the hotel shop spent money.

We next went to the lounge. This is yet another special place for certain special people. There are different kinds of special people and they all have different special places. Timbo said he was not that special, well, not yet. I asked him when he would be. He smiled and said to me, “Wait until we get to the gate”. Then he crossed his fingers. I crossed my claws too. They are magic claws. Only a bear’s special human can see them. Timbo’s smile grew bigger when he saw me do that.

After he had been doing lots of finger tapping on his phone, and lots of smiling, writing nice things to his friend Special K, he said it was time to go to the gate. We went past all the bright, shiny, shops again. I am learning humans do things like this, to make sure the magic spells are still working.

Next we get to the gate. Timbo had to take all sorts of things out the bag (I stayed hidden), and then we all disappeared inside a big box that made me feel funny. Timbo says they use Ex Rays to see what is there. These Ex Rays could not see me. I must be a more magical bear than I thought.

We came out the other side, and Timbo had to pack the bag back up again. It is unfair to Timbo, because he packed it very well in the first place. I know that because I had loads of space to snuggle up in.

The people looked at his ticket. This made it the fourth time somebody had looked at his ticket. Humans cannot trust each other very much to read the same information. After a few minutes when we had been in this new lounge (but I thought we were at the gate) Timbo’s proper posh name was called out. He went to the man and the lady who after all that checking of the ticket only took it away and gave him another one. Timbo said with a happy smile “2K”. This was the magickest magic spell so far.

After a little while longer, the man asked Timbo and three other people to join him. Nobody else. We went along a special tunnel which then became two tunnels. A lovely lady was guarding our tunnel. I knew it had to be an even more special tunnel. 

When we go to the end of this tunnel a beautiful smiling lady said what Timbo told me later was “Grüezi”, a Swiss word to welcome you. I was a word that you have to say back but Timbo using his knowledge of magic said “Grüezi wohl” which makes the lady feel even happier, he said.

Cor! Wow! Golly! Blimey! What a big room! And only eight huge, massive, humungous, big seats for all five of us! There was a funny little seat opposite each big seat. Timbo tucked me in the one he had and put the safety belt round me so I would be ready for when we left. He did not want the lady to tell him off for not looking after me properly. When she came to check Timbo was a good boy, She was very pleased he was looking after me properly.

All buckled in properly.

The photo Timbo took of me with the special bag of goodies and slippers he was given.
Please note, nothing bear sized was provided.

The lady also gave Timbo pyjamas which he is allowed to keep (Swiss do not have bear sized pyjamas, I think that is very wrong). Timbo says he does not wear or like pyjamas very much, but these pyjamas he has from Swiss are the best and most comfortable he has ever had. He said they are featherlight and then sniggered. That word must a funny word, though I do not know why. I think Timbo might be a little naughty.

We had loads of gorgeous scrummy things to eat. I was not as hungry as Timbo, so I only had a little bit of a starter of lovely salmon. Timbo also had the green split pea soup that he said was "Super Suppe" to the lady. That was Timbo making a joke I found out because the words sort of sound a little bit alike. 

Timbo's Salmon Thingy

My Sensible Sized Salmon Thingy

The Super Suppe. Haha!!

Then it was time for bed. The nice lady made up a bed for us. When it was all done I crept under the duvet and it was really lovely.

In bed waiting for Timbo.

Cor, what a big bed!
And there are special nibbles by the bed for me!!!

Then Timbo came back with his featherlight jim-jams, as he called them, then he sniggered again. He got under the duvet and we slept long hours. But before we went to sleep, the nice Julia lady gave Timbo something that made him gasp and he said “Oo@! I love these!” It is a traditional gingerbread from Apenzell, part of Switzerland. He had one. I had a nibble too. I can understand why Timbo loves them.

They have a name that has extra meaning for me. They are called Appenzeller Bärli-Biberli. These are small version of the Appenzeller Bärli-Biber. Putting -li at the end of Biber makes it mean it is a small thing. I asked “So what is a Bärli, Timbo?” He smiled at me again and said “You are a Bärli, Iain.” Gosh.

On this special new plane, there is so much lovely specialness for me, there are slidey parts that make it like a tiny, tiny bedroom. The slidey bits are about as high as Timbo’s chest and he said he likes the tiny, tiny bedroom not being all locked away.

When we woke up we stayed under our cuddly duvet a bit longer. It was soon going to be breakfast and the lady took the bed away and pulled out the table and gave us a lovely breakfast with crêpes, they are very posh pancakes says Timbo, with bananas and yummy sauces. Then it was soon time for Timbo to get dressed properly, while he was away, that nice lady Julia brought me a nice big bag of Appenzeller Bärli-Biberli, all tied up with a lovely SWISS ribbon. She must like Bärlis. I like her.

Me and my nice big bag of Appenzeller Bärli-Biberlis

When Timbo got back he had to pack everything up into his bag. I have a private photo of me with Annamarie and Julia, and also with the lovely Sara Dibenedetto, who was the kind and caring Maître de Cabine who was also a friend to me, but she was busy looking after everybody on the plane, so I did not get a chance to know her better.

We landed in Zurich which the Swiss spell Zürich. It is also the name of the Canton, which is like a small country inside the bigger country of Switzerland. That is a bit like my old home in Penang, because Penang belongs inside Malaysia. We had a nice relaxing wait before we went on to London, but it was not as special or exciting a journey, because they do not do nice First Class with big beds to London.

You know, I could not have chosen a nicer human than Timbo. He showed me there are many nice humans in the world, they almost as nice as bears, or even Bärlis. I think I prefer to be a Bärli.